Season 2, Episode 13: Poor Substitutes

Transcribed by Anita

Charlie and Owen:
Charlie is trying to get Owen enrolled in a nursery school (i guess Owen must be 2 now ..) because i guess they don't have a nanny anymore or not in the mornings, because Charlie says something about needing him to go to nursery school in the morning so that he can take care of things (i.e. open up) at the restaurant.

Charlie finds out that Owen must be potty trained (oh-no!) before attending nursery school, and at the preliminary appointment (between charlie and the school only), charlie agrees to bring owen in for his interview .. and asks if owen can come in late in the day. We find out later this is because charlie spends every moment before trying to get owen to poop on the potty. He yells, he bribes, he gets frustrated. At one point charlie is sitting on the baby potty while owen runs out of the bathroom and charlie is screaming at him, and claudia appears reminding charlie that owen is 'just a baby'. Sometime after this incident, Claud has called Kirsten and told her that Owen had an accident .. a worried Kirsten arrives at the Salingers house to find out that Owens accident was a potty accident :-) And Charlie apologizes for Clauds behaviour and insists that he knew nothing of her shenanigans.

Finally, Charlie and Owen arrive for their nursery school interview. Owen passed the preliminary blocks and sand tests. The teacher then asks if owen would like some juice and cookies, to which charlie hastily answers "NO!" explaining that owen already had a lot to drink before they came. Then he eyes Owens accident #1, and picks him up quickly. He confirms with the teacher that Owens enrollment is ok, and asks her to take the deposit check out of his pocket (since he is busy hiding owens front) and then they both smell accident #2.

Charlie is at home, while owen is coloring on the table. Charlie is upset that Owen could not co-operate. Then owen begins coloring on the table, and charlie gets mad again. Owen was drawing a house, and Charlie asks him what the house was missing .. windows.

Later Charlie is sitting on the step staring at a wall which contained framed artwork by many of the Salinger clan, except for charlie. Claudia joins him, and charlie remembers how his dad criticized him one day when he drew a skyscraper that charlie was very proud of, claudia says that she never remembers anything like that. Charlie says that it is because he was their dads first born, and parents want to push their first born the most (boy, don't i know about this!!!) and they have learned to know better by the time the rest come around, and the reason that Charlie was so hard on owen was because in a sense, owen was charlie's first ..

At the end, Owen lets charlie sleep in his bed with him .. just this once (though i don't understand, owen was out cold, he wouldn't have even known the difference, especially if he was a fake rubber owen :-))

Kirsten and Claudia:
Claudia and Kirsten continue their semi-mother daughter role as Claud continues to be very upset about Charlie and Kirstens break-up and lack of a seeming reconciliation. Kirsten explains to Claud that she is dating someone else, (Michael?) and Claudia shyly asks if Kirsten is sleeping with him. A shocked Kirsten reprimands her for asking such a question that is none of her business.

(Then, see above regarding owen's accident)
Claudia runs into Kirsten who is waiting on a park bench for a date, the date shows up with a girl, apparently the guys' daughter (the guy could not pawn her off on her mother) the girls looks at Claudia and asks "who is she?" Claudia, angry runs off ..

Later, Kirsten comes to Claudia's house to talk to her. Claudia is very upset, and asks if she was trying to replace her with that girl. Kirsten denies that she was trying to replace her, but tries to explain that she is trying to move on with her life, and she is going to see other people, and she wishes Claudia would stop trying to pull her back to this house, and her brother, and if the other people that she sees have children then so much the better. Claudia, then in tears asks if they are breaking up. And they hug.

Bailey and Sarah:
After Bailey and sarah run into someone at the store who asks if sarah is someones daughter, sarah decides that she wants to find her real mom. She tells her adoptive mom who is quite upset after admitting that she told herself that she wouldn't be when this happens. Sarah asks her why she can't love BOTH her moms. Her mom then tells her the real mothers name and that she used to live in the city 16 years ago.

Sarah and Bailey pillage through stacks of area phone books till Sarah finds "her". She says she isn't ready to call her yet, but just knowing she is there. Sarah talks about how she pictures them meeting, and how her mother would be happy to see her, and how she is afraid how she would feel if her mother was indifferent.

Bailey calls her real mom and goes to visit her at a laundry commercial shoot. Her real mom does not want to see Sarah, and says that she does not want a daughter, and that she knew and knows her limitations and did the best thing that she could for sarah, gave her better parents. That there was no way that she could raise a daughter since her career was just taking off and i believe she said something about being on tour. She ends by saying she does NOT want to see sarah and she doesn't care what bailey tell her, he can tell her that she is dead if he wants. bailey admits to himself that he just might do that.

Later, when sarah 'decides' that she wants to call her mom, bailey admits that he called her already, and that the woman is not her mother. That the name wasn't even really hers, that she had some weird name and she changed it, and that she never had a kid that she gave up for adoption. Sarah is distraught, and bailey asks if she is mad, and she says no.

Julia and Justin and Allison (Ally):
Allison is Justins friend-only that he met last summer in England (you know, while Julia was co-horting with Griffin) He calls her 'Ally' (allie?) anyway, she is coming to visit to check out berkely because she is thinking of going to college their. Julia is not happy about her visiting (i think) but when she finally comes, they get along great, talking about justins faults, etc. at the coffee house. Justin asks her if they would like to do something else go somewhere else, and Ally says no ..

Later, they go shopping, and both agree that Justin has bad taste in clothes. Allie is trying to figure out prices via the pound to dollar conversion rate. Julia comments 'who needs men' anyway, julia buys a scarf that allie approves of. Later, Julia and allie are in her room, and allie comments about some button up lacey sort of sweater thing that she bought, about how awful it looks. Julia comes around from back and puts her arms around her front and does something like tie the bottom of the sweater together and fluff it out, explaining that it looks beautiful that way. As julia goes back to look at cds, allie comments that she (Julia) is beautiful. Julia thanks her. Allie asks, but the first time julia doesn't hear, so allie repeats if julia thinks about girls or does that totally make her sick because she (allie) thinks of her (julia). Julia is shocked with no response to which allie hurriedly says "just forget i ever said that", and runs out.

Later, Ally is seating in a movie theatre seat while Julia and Justin argue about who will sit next to her. Julia insists that Justin sit in the middle, and Justin argues that her and Ally will just be blabbing and ruin the whole movie for him. Julia ends up in the middle, when justin realizes that they don't have any popcorn. Julia offers to get it, but justin says no and gets it himself. Now Julia and ally are alone. (I am not sure about this part, it is kinda slipping from my memory) Ally tries to talk about what happen, but Julia cuts her off and says that she doesn't want to talk about it. She begins to take her coat off, thinks twice, and leaves it on, explaining to Ally that it is "cold in here".

Later they are at a club, Justin and Julia are dancing. justin is trying to explain how strange it is that allison wanted to come here because she doesn't usually do this scene, but julia can't hear him over the noise of the music. They go off to find allison who is making out with some guy that she doesn't know the name of. Ally asks him to take her home, and julia and justin run after her saying that is not such a good idea, she doesn't know him. Julia keeps telling the guy that she doesn't want to go with him, and he denies that she doesn't, julia is insistent, questions whether she should justify her statement, and finally admits that she doesn't like boys (btw, this part didn't agree with me, she never said that she didn't like boys, she could be bi... no?) anyway, ally gets all upset and runs off. Julia chases her. Ally ends up crying on a park bench, and says something about girls liking girls making julia sick, and how it even makes her sick, and she hates to think about what her parents would think and how it would hurt them, and she just wishes that she could have someone to love. that someone would just tell her that they love her too. Julia tries to touch her, but i think she is not quite sure how this would be construed (my opinion here) so she backs off.

Julia is driving ally to the airport, and tells ally that she hopes she isn't upset, that the airport was on her way (??) and she says that she doesn't think that ally should go to berkely. and she explains that she knows what ally is trying to do, she is going far away from her home, and hitting on julia someone far away from everyone else she knows, she is trying to be safe. ally has no comment.

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