Season 4, Episode 14: Of Human Bonding


The credits: guest starring paige turco, christopher gorham, patti allison, andrew & steven cavarno, special appearance by eve gordon, and patrick breen, producer paul marks, supervising producer tammy ader, consulting producer lisa melamed, co-executive producer michael engler, co-executive producer p.k. simonds, executive producers mitchell burgess & robin green, executive producer ken topolsky, written by robin green & mitchell burgess & julia dahl, directed by brian mertes.
Transcribed by Rachel

Hospital
Charlie is waiting for his treatment when another patient starts talking to him first about computers and then a female patient. The guy says she is way out of his league, but states that in his new cancer stage he has become something of a chick magnet. Girls dig cancer. Or they don't, Charlie answers most likely reflecting on the disappearance of the fair Nina. As evidence he gives a sample of "chick movies": Terms of Endearment, Dying Young. Charlie adds Brian's Song, Love Story. The guy introduces himself at Kevin Quoss, Hodgkin's. Me too, says Charlie. Kevin asks how he's doing. Charlie says he rather enjoys coming to the hospital, at least there he's not the only person with cancer. Kevin agrees. At home they give you "cancer face." Charlie says that that's what's waiting for him at home, cancer face.

Office
Julia is starting a new temp job. She is seated across from a woman named Jeannie Pettit. The supervisor encourages Julia to be efficient and accurate. Jeannie rolls her eyes.

Berkeley
Sarah and Elliot are discussing French literature. Sarah asks if Elliot has "known" any older women. He says that his sister's roommate in New York was older. Sarah wonders if the experience made her better, but he says it just made her less shy to ask for what she wanted. Oh, she says. But it was just an experience in lust for him. Is that what he'll say about her someday? No, never. He has to run. Sarah tries to get her to come home with him, but he has a chem lab and asks for a rain check.

Opening Credits

Annie's apartment
Bailey has brought over a badminton set for Natalie, but she has a negative comment inspired by her father. Annie tells her to apologize, but she pulls a piece of tape off the box and puts it over her mouth. Annie sends her to her room and cancels her sleep over. Bailey tries to explain Nat's side, but Annie won't hear of it. Natalie has a right to be pissed, but not to be rude.

Office
Jeannie is in the bathroom crying when Julia comes in with the coffee pot. Her husband just called. He got basketball tickets and wanted to go to the game. It's their 10th anniversary. Julia doesn't understand. Jeannie says that they get to a point to where they don't really talk and only have sex when he wants to. She tells Julia not to get married, but Julia holds up her left hand and comments that she's too late.

Griffin's shop
Griffin is working on Sarah's car. She points out a sleazy calendar that he got from a parts dealer. He states that the customers seem to like it. She asks him what it means when a guy stops trying to get her to "you know." This is sex Griffin asks. Yeah, Sarah says. What does it mean when he doesn't even try anymore? It doesn't mean he's losing interest. Why is that what she thinks, Griffin asks. That because he's stopped trying he's lost interest? What else could she think, Sarah answers.

Salinger kitchen
Julia enters with her arms full of groceries. Claudia calls out to see if it's Charlie. It's 7 pm and he isn't home from his 3 pm treatment. He's usually asleep on the couch by 4 pm. They both wonder where he could be.

Batting cage
Charlie and Kevin are at the batting cage. They share memories about little league and other death-defying activities. Kevin's whole mentality has changed since he was diagnosed with cancer. Charlie used to drive by all the time on his way to the fish market, but he always thought it was a waste of time. Exactly says Kevin, should they hit another bucket and this time crank it up to 52 mph?

Annie's apartment
Bailey comes over and as usual he's brought a treat for Natalie. Annie points out that it looks like he's bribing her to like him and it won't work. Giving it time is the only way. She'll come around. Bailey points out that she's running their love life. Annie says Nat won't buy his act, but Bay protests that it's not an act.

Salinger kitchen
Charlie comes home apologizing for being late and inquiring if they saved him any dinner. The girls are incredulous to learn that he was out hitting baseballs. It's cold and his immune system is weak. Julia points out that they were calling everywhere looking for him when she could have been doing laundry. Claudia starts fixing him a bowl of soup and says she's going to draw him a hot bath.

Salinger basement
Griffin comes down to find Julia doing laundry. He asks if she's going to sleep inside that night. He starts to nuzzle her neck and ask her to come back to their bed, if she wants. Wants what? He didn't come down to help her with the laundry, he came down to ask her to have sex. Yeah, he answers. She's angry. The only conversation they've had for 2 weeks is "What's for dinner and where's the remote?" She turns him down flat.

Salinger kitchen
It's the next morning and Kevin is over for breakfast. He's frying bacon. Claudia can't believe they're going to eat bacon. Studies have shown that fat spreads tumors. Charlie points out that he needs the calories. He and Kevin are going up to Bodega to fish off the wharf. Actually, Kevin wants to go up in the Sierras to watch a meteor shower. Julia and Claudia are very upset. Charlie can't go camping in the cold, something could happen. Like we could get cancer, Kevin responds. Julia doesn't know what's going on with Kevin, but they are doing everything the doctor tells them to. Charlie says he's going to go if he wants. Fine, the girls say and they leave the kitchen. Whoa, I see what you mean, Kevin says. Serious cancer face. Charlie just laughs.

Apartment
Bailey is having an ice hockey night at the restaurant. Natalie is a big hockey fan and Bailey's offer of a Shirley Temple with an extra cherry finally breaks the ice.

Office
Jeannie apologizes for crying on Julia's shoulder. It's funny, because when she got home Griffin tried the same thing. Jeannie and Julia share war stories about remote controls. Jeannie wants a girl's night out. Julia agrees.

Salinger's
Ice Hockey night is in full swing. Natalie is having a great time. She's at the bar next to Griffin. Elliot shows up with Sarah who was looking for a romantic evening. She didn't even know Elliot liked hockey. He picks a fight with her and goes to sit with Griffin. Bay and Nat are playing air hockey and having a great time. He starts singing "Natty, Natty bo Batty..." and hugging her. She loses her smile and Annie tries to stop him. Jay, Nat's dad used to do the same thing. Annie tells him to stop trying to be her father. Julia and Jeannie show up at the restaurant. Julia forgot about the promotion. Sarah asks them to come and save her. Julia is surprised to see Griffin there. She tries to introduce him to Jeannie, but he's engrossed in the game. They begin to argue, but he leaves and Elliot follows him.

Salinger garage
Charlie and Kevin are getting ready for their trip. Charlie is examining the map and wonders if they should rent a cell phone. The campground is miles from any hospital and if anything happened. . . they aren't in the best shape they've ever been in. He wonders if they've thought it all out. Kevin tells him if he doesn't want to go he shouldn't. Charlie wants to go, but . . . .

Street near Salinger's
Julia, Sarah and Jeannie have left Salinger's. Julia notices Griffin's bike. Sarah isn't going to take Elliot back to campus after the way he acted. They walk into the bar. It's a strip joint. Griffin turns and sees Julia in the doorway and turns back to his beer. She watches for a moment and then leaves.

Salinger kitchen
The next morning Julia confronts Griffin. Are they going to talk about it? Did he do this to hurt her? No, he did it to get away from her. Why there? He was in the merchant marines, he's seen a lot worse. She asks if he goes to those kinds of places a lot. Not a lot, but sometimes. Does he like them? Yeah, they're fun. It's not like anyone gets hurt. He walks away and it's obvious that Julia is hurt.

Berkeley
Sarah asks if Elliot went there to upset her. Obviously they had just had a fight. He got swept up in the testosterone of the hockey evening. She says it was a horrible place. Yeah, there was a 2 drink minimum and the beers were like $6. She asks if he likes that kind of stuff. Yeah, he answers. What guy wouldn't be turned on by naked breasts?

Annie's apartment
Bailey and Annie are moving a carpet in from a vacated apartment when they find Annie's purse on the floor and Natalie no where to be found. Bailey finds her in the laundry room where she is trying to call her dad. He isn't there and when Bailey gets on the phone he finds out the number has been reassigned. Jay has moved and not told them where. Annie comforts Natalie and tells her that surely he'll call them any day to tell them where he's gone. Natalie asks if he's forgotten about them, but Annie assures her that that isn't what happened.

Hospital
Charlie sits down next to Kevin. He apologizes for not going on the meteor trip. He wanted to go. Kevin says it's okay. Charlie doesn't have any obligation to him, just to himself. The nurse calls Kevin for his treatment and Charlie ponders what he said.

Office
Jeannie thanks Julia for the evening before. She inspired Jeannie to leave her husband. Julia is a little shocked by the extreme reaction. She wants to know why she wouldn't even talk to him. Jeannie says when you don't talk anymore, it's over.

Annie's apartment
Annie and Bailey discuss what happened. He calls Jay a loser. He doesn't want to understand why he would fail Nat that way. Bailey has to take the heat, the one guy who wants to be there for her. Maybe she's lucky he's gone. Annie defends him. He has a drinking problem, but he is her father and he loves her. Nobody's ever better off without their father, Bailey should know that.

Salinger house
Charlie is coming upstairs when Claudia greets him. She rented him "A River Runs Through It" to make up for his canceled trip. He's already seen it, in the theater. She asks how his treatment was. It was fine. Julia comes in. She made him some soup. Does he want it in his room or in front of the TV? He'll eat later. She asks him if he's sure because if he falls asleep now he won't want to get up in the middle of the night to eat. Claudia points out that he shouldn't lose anymore weight. Did they weigh him at the hospital? Charlie is growing frustrated with their questions. He's fine. What would happen if he told them he was fine? Claudia says that that is what they want more than anything. They're great when he feels like hell, when he's flat on his back or has his head in the toilet. They bring him dinner or a cold washcloth. But, if he wants to do something other than be sick. . . . They made him afraid to go on the trip. Claudia points out that he could have gotten sick. He is sick and the two of them spoon-feeding him. . . Maybe if he got out of his bedroom and lived a little, maybe that would make the difference. But they can't deal with that. Claudia says it's not true, but Julia agrees with Charlie. She is taking a break from her life to help him and she is glad to do it, but she can't be the only one to take his cancer seriously. She won't give up everything so he can take off. This upsets Charlie. When he's lying in his bed he's waiting to get better or waiting to die, he's not living. . . he's just waiting. He turns and stares out the window while Julia watches for a moment and then leaves.

Annie's apartment
Bailey asks if he can come into Natalie's bedroom. He knows that he isn't the guy that she wants to talk to, so he'll do all of the talking. He knows why she's upset and he's felt the same way. A couple of years ago his dad died and that hurts because Bailey loves him, but he knows that his dad still thinks about him and loves him. He knows that Natalie's dad is doing the same thing. He has memories of his dad that he holds in his heart and he knows that Nat does too and he would never want to take that place in her heart. He understands why she's mad and it's okay. As he leaves she looks over at him.

Hospital
Charlie comes up to Kevin and says that he has arranged for them to do #4 on Kevin's ten best ways to risk your neck list. They leave at dawn tomorrow. Kevin isn't up for it, he's having a rough time right now. He can't seem to hold anything down or get enough sleep. Charlie offers to do it another time. He'll get the weekend fight on pay-per-view and they'll just hang out. Kevin tells him to go ahead. Charlie offers to make his famous malt, the only thing he could keep down for a week. Kevin tells him he's giving him cancer face and to go for #4.

Shed
Julia comes in to find Griffin reading a magazine. He won't even put it down when she tries to talk to him. She's just going to start yelling at him. She tries again, but he doesn't want to fight. She does, she wants to fight it out. It's not getting better, it's only getting quiet. Griffin is sick of saying he's sorry, he's not even sure what he's apologizing for anymore. Can she tell him? Can he tell her why he's trying to hurt her? He doesn't know. She leaves.

Coffee House
Sarah finds Elliot. She thinks she's figured it out. He has a lot more "experience" than her and she knows that that can be hard to overcome. She can be really uptight and shy, but she doesn't just want to be the virgin in the flannel nightgown. She pulls out a lingerie catalog and asks him to pick one out. He likes the tiger suit. She wants to try and have him show her everything he knows. He can't. Why not? There weren't any older women, or younger women or any women. He lied. He's a virgin, too. He just didn't want her to think he was a loser. What like me? No, that wasn't what he thought. But, she was the honest virgin and he was the lying stinking, creepo virgin but she can live with that.

Annie's apartment
She is reading "The Velveteen Rabbit" to Natalie while Bailey pokes his head in the door. Annie says good-night. Natalie asks Bailey if he's going to be there when she wakes up. He says he will and she says good night. She starts to sing "Bailey, Bailey Bo-Bailey..."

Shed
Julia crawls into bed with Griffin who lies with his back to her. She waits a moment and then lies on her back.

Coast
Charlie is in a hang-glider. He floats over the Pacific ocean while Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwole plays.


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