Season 4, Episode 23: Fools Rush In

Transcribed by Rachel

Bailey is on the phone with Annie arranging his move while Sarah asks his advice about her ad for the beach house. She needs to find one more roommate and it needs to be a guy. She wants somebody who's normal and easy to look at. A good-looking waiter brings her salad over. He hopes she didn't mind, but he put the dressing on the side--the vinaigrette gets a little oily. Bailey directs him to table 4. Sarah asks after the waiter. His name is Eric and he's in art school. She wonders if he might be interested in the beach house. Bailey doesn't think so. With a name like Eric, he's probably some kind of preppie jerk. Sarah goes over and introduces herself.

Living room
Charlie is making reservations for dinner with Kirsten and Paul. Daphne comes in dressed as a valet. She starts a shtick about Charlie's truck being stolen. He doesn't get it. He asks if she got a new job. She asks him to work with her, he's supposed to go streaking over to the window to look for his car and when he does...she pulls of her pants and blouse to reveal her bra and panties. She says that she's been looking for a new act, she has a bachelor party the next night and those frat boys have seen everything. She also has a break-away nun outfit. Charlie does not appear to be very comfortable with the whole discussion.

Opening credits

Julia comes home to find Griffin watching TV with his leg up. He thanks her for picking up his prescription. She says she didn't mind. He starts to get up. She asks what he needs...water. She got the prescription, waited at the hospital for 5 hours with him, got him his crutches...he can get the water. She tells him to sit down, he might hurt himself further. He sits down and picks up a plate with old food on it. She tells him not to eat's 3 days old. She offers to make him some dinner but he tells her there isn't anything in their refrigerator. She's sorry, but she has to go to the library. He tosses the old food towards the garbage can and misses. She leans down and picks it up while they both sigh in frustration.

Kirsten, Paul, Charlie and Daphne are having dinner. Paul is explaining about his fellowship at San Francisco General. Daphne comments that it has one of the finest emergency rooms. When she jumped up on a piano in 6 inch stiletto heels and sprained her ankle, everyone at the ER was very nice to her. Charlie comments on the salmon. Paul asks if she's going to do this kind of work long-term. She doesn't know, she can't think about anything long-term. Kirsten inquires if she runs into a lot of creeps. Daphne points out that she did run into Charlie. They all laugh. Actually, she also met this really nice dermatologist, a best man at one of her bachelor parties. He removed a tattoo on her ass for free. Charlie suggests that they split an appetizer. Paul asks what the tattoo was. Bashful, of the Seven Dwarfs--she's always had this thing for Bashful. Kirsten is surprised. Daphne doesn't seem like the Bashful type. Daphne asks what she means. Kirsten says, just Bashful for someone like her. "Someone like me?" Daphne responds. It has gotten tense. Paul tries to explain, Kirsten continues to try to no avail. Charlie tries to call a waiter over while Daphne gives him a look.

Claudia's room
Jamie and Claudia are studying. He needs to talk to her about something. There are these events in a young person's life that are milestones. Some are solitary events, but some require the participation of two, like a boyfriend and girlfriend. Claudia asks what he's getting at. He says like the movies with cars, and drinking and crazy nights. He just thought it wouldn't have to be like that, it could be mellow. Claudia jumps up. She can't do it. She's barely out a training bra, she doesn't even have her learner's permit, she's only 15! Jamie says she's right, he knew she would feel that way...proms are stupid. Proms? Claudia would love to go to the prom. Jamie doesn't get it. She was wrong, very, very, very wrong.

Annie's apartment
Bailey is trying to integrate his stuff into Annie's closet. He thinks this is crazy. She wants to know if he has regrets about moving in. It isn't that, it's just everything...him moving, Sarah leaving. The whole world is spinning. He wants to do this. The phone rings. Bailey answers it with "Annie and Bailey's residence." The caller hangs up. Annie says it was probably a telemarketer. They start to kiss while the phone rings again. The answering machine picks up and the caller hangs up again.

Grocery store
Griffin is hobbling through the grocery store. He's ready to check out, but while he counts his items to see if he can use the express lane an old lady with a cane comes up. He tries to get there before her, but she beats him. The clerk comments that it isn't his day. Griffin responds that it isn't his decade. As he hands over his money buzzers start to go off. He's the 1,000th customer that month and wins a trip to LA. The store manager comes over with balloons, flowers and a straw hat that says "Winner."

Street outside restaurant
Charlie is complaining about their dinner. The food was bad and the service was rotten. It felt like they were in there forever. Daphne agrees. He says they'll try someplace else. Daphne suggests a Greek place where they throw dishes or maybe one of the drag show/cabaret places in North Beach. Charlie asks if she's serious. She is because the next time they go out with his friends she would prefer to not be the entertainment. She shrugs off his arm and walks away. He asks what she's talking about. She thought they were treating her like she was a freak show. She's upset? She has an interesting job, they just wanted to know more. "Like people are curious about Mad Cow disease," she responds. He questions why she's overly sensitive about what she does. She's fine with it, he's the one who seemed to want to climb under the tablecloth every time the subject came up. Some help he was! He says he tried to shift the conversation. Exactly, like he was ashamed of her. He doesn't understand. She's pissed off that they wanted to talk about her stripping and she's mad that he tried to change to subject. What does she want? She wants him to defend her, to let people know that he's okay with what she does...that it doesn't bother him. She wants him to let people know that she has other incredible qualities than being able to unsnap her bra with her teeth. If he doesn't feel that way, at least it would have been nice if he had lied.

Eric asks Bailey is he's cool with the "Sarah thing?" Bailey says it's fine until Eric comments about him being Bay's employee and his tenant. Bailey asks what's going on. Eric is staying on his cousin's couch, so he's going to move into Bailey's room at the apartment. Bailey immediately goes on the defensive. He professes to not have a problem, but Eric should know about some of Sarah's habits. He tells Eric that Sarah isn't very easy to live with. She clips her toenails on the couch and does "Sweatin' to the Oldies" really loud and is into that whole water conservation thing. You know, "yellow's mellow, brown goes down." Eric looks a little uneasy. Bailey says she hasn't done that stuff since he got on her case, so Eric should take the room.

Health Club
Charlie and Paul have taken another crack at racquetball. Paul asks if it was okay...maybe they should have played golf instead, but Charlie points out that he has spent the last six months on the couch in front of the TV. He needs to get out and sweat a little. Paul says that if racquetball doesn't keep him young, his girlfriend will. "Daphne?" Charlie responds. He asks if Paul had a bachelor party, because he doesn't strike Charlie as the type. Sure he did. He got a 911 page to the isolation ward, when he gets there and pulls the sheet off the patient the stripper jumped up and started her act. The room was filled with dweebs in lab coats with their hands in their pockets looking like they would rather be retaking their MCATs. Getting a stripper is about embarrassing your friend, not sex. Charlie is surprised. From what he's seen on the daytime talk shows, he always thought these kinds of things ended with the vice squad. Paul asks if Charlie's ever been to one. He hasn't. Paul thinks that if he went to one, he'd be disappointed.

Natalie's school
Bailey is picking up Natalie from school. He talks to her about him moving in. If she feels funny about it, he won't and everything will be okay. She asks if he will still kiss her goodnight when he's not leaving. He says that he will, of course. He hugs her and puts her in the jeep. A man is watching them from his car.

Griffin is telling Julia about the trip. The hotel is right by the beach and really nice. They either have to go that weekend or wait for 3 months. She can't go that weekend. Professor Sinclair has a deadline with his publisher and she has to finish the bibliography by Monday. Griffin says he should have known. She can't believe he doesn't understand it. He does, he just thought she would also see it as this totally great thing. If she won't let them enjoy this, than they are never going to let anything good happen to them. Julia reconsiders. She could do an all-nighter. They should do it because otherwise...

Daphne is stripping. The groom tells her he has an extra big back seat. She tells him to keep his seat belt on. He's supposed to stay on his chair. Charlie comes in to watch the routine. The groom gets more physical. Daphne pushes him back. The rules are no touching. He continues to grab at her. Charlie comes over and reiterates the "no touching" rule. Daphne asks Charlie to back off. The groom pushes him and Charlie punches him. He grabs Daphne and her stuff and pulls her out of the club.

Annie's apartment
Bailey and Natalie are making meatloaf. He sends her to bathroom to wash her hands. While Bay and Annie discuss their day there's a knock at the door. Annie opens it to admit an older looking man. It's the same guy who was at the school earlier that day. Bailey asks what he wants, but neither the man nor Annie speak. Natalie comes out of the hall and shouts, "Daddy!" She runs over to the man. Annie just looks at Bailey.

Street outside the club
Daphne tells Charlie to stop pulling her. He says they will just take his truck and come back for her car tomorrow. She's upset. She'll probably get fired and he'll get sued for hitting the guy. What was he doing there? Charlie thinks a thank you is more in order...for saving her ass. She says she didn't need any saving. He's surprised because it sure seemed like things were out of hand. She wants to know why he was following her. Charlie says he just wanted to see what she did so he could be okay with it, but he is definitely not okay with it. It's dangerous and she's not doing it anymore...she's not stripping anymore. She's incredulous. She grabs her bag and boombox from him and storms away. He calls after her.

Bailey and Sarah's apartment
Sarah is showing Eric around the apartment while Bailey sits on the kitchen stool and listens overhead. It sounds like a muffled argument between Annie and her ex-husband is going on. Eric comments that it isn't a good time, but Bailey says it's okay. Eric asks if Bay plans to take his furniture, because Eric really doesn't have anything. He goes back into the bedroom. Sarah asks why the ex is back. Bailey doesn't know. Annie was so freaked out with both of them there that Bay just split. She asks if he's worried. He doesn't know. Sarah thought they were divorced. Eric asks again about Bailey's bed.

Julia and Griffin appear to be very uncomfortable with one another. The people directly behind them are being rather affectionate, knocking into the Holbrooks' seats. They's their 20th anniversary. The man next to Griffin comments to his partner that he hates when their seats are separated. He holds out his hand to the man across the aisle. Griffin and Julia both sigh.

Claudia comes in asking if there is a floor underneath her feet, because she's walking on air. Charlie, who appears to be balancing his check book, does not look overly amused, but asks why. Jamie just asked her to his prom, she could just scream and she does...right in Charlie's ear. She pulls out a fashion magazine. She wonders if she should go with the on the shoulder or the off the shoulder. Charlie votes for on the shoulder. Tea length or above the knee? Charlie thinks the longer the better. He thinks she's a little young to be going to prom. It's Jamie's prom, he's going rent a limo and wear a tux. It's going to be wonderful. Charlie tells her about his first prom. His date was so allergic to the corsage she had went into anaphylactic shock and they had to rush her to the emergency room and his friend puked all down the front of Charlie's tux and he had to buy it. Claudia looks crushed. Charlie apologizes, they'll have fun. When she finds a dress tell him and he'll write her out a check.

LA-outdoor cafe
Julia is sitting alone when a guy comes over and tries a cheesy line about her being a poet. Griffin saves her. The hostess seats them. Their conversation is very stilted until they hear the same guy trying his line on another victim. Griffin offers to give him points for being persistent. Julia asks what he's saying, she can't hear. Griffin starts his own routine. "Did anyone ever tell you you have beautiful eyes?" Julia asks if he's an optometrist. Is that someone who always thinks things are going to work out for the best? No that's an optimist. Well, that's what he is. Julia points out that it isn't a job. It is where he comes from. Where's that? Finland...jawohl! She points out that "jawohl" is German. Griffin affects a Parisian/Russian accent and asks if she will spend the day with him before he returns to Finland to face a firing squad. She inquires why he is facing the firing squad. He knocked over a bunch of convenience stores to finance the trip to LA, but it was worth it...he met her.

Charlie is emptying the aluminum cans into the recycling bin. Daphne comes out. She starts to berate him, he interrupts. How did she.... Claudia let her in. First of all, she doesn't need somebody to follow her around and spy on her. If she wanted that she would move back in with her parents, which she would rather kill herself than do. Second she appreciated him for sticking up for her even though he should not have been there, but she's getting off the subject. If people asked her about him she could make a list, a good long list. For example, she may strip, but at least she has a job. They've been going out for two months and she has never said a word about him sitting around doing nothing. He wants to take things as they come, that's his business. They don't change their lives around for each other. No strings, no obligations. That's how it works. He says that's great, but he wants to look out for her. That isn't how it works, so he needs to deal and move on. Charlie nods, but doesn't say anything.

LA-Amusement Park
Griffin and Julia are having a great time riding the rides. When they get off they continue their Finnish act, except now Julia has an accent as well. Griffin's limping a bit more and says he has forgotten about his injury from the war. Julia asks what war. He says it was the war at home which momentarily makes them both serious, but then he inquires why she now has an accent. She laughs and says she is confused as well, maybe they aren't so different. They kiss. He asks why she has a sad expression. She's sad because he's a funny person and she had a fun time, but he must face the firing squad. They kiss again.

Annie's apartment
Bailey is waiting when Annie gets home. She is alone. He asks where Natalie is. She left her with Jay. Bailey is upset. They were gone all day and now she comes back without Natalie. She spent her life savings getting away from him and now she just jumps in a car with him. She tells Bailey that Jay is sober now, for 8 months. He got himself together and moved to Oakland to be close to Natalie. He's gotten a good job and rented a nice little house with a spare bedroom. Bailey wants to know who the bedroom is for. It's for Natalie, to go visit. Bailey wants to know where Annie will be sleeping. She tells him that it isn't about her. Jay wants to do right by her. He wouldn't call until he was sober. Bailey is upset. What happens the next time he takes off? She has options. Bailey is there. Annie says that Nat is still there with them, but she has to listen to Natalie. As long as Jay is okay, she's going to let Natalie see him.

Bailey and Sarah's apartment
Sarah comes home to find Bailey sitting in his old room. She asks if he wants to talk about it, but he doesn't even want to think about it. She hates to ask, but Eric needs to get out of his cousin's place so when is Bailey moving? He doesn't know. This is all out of his league...divorced people with kids and custody agreements and child support. He's just a guy who wants to move in with his girlfriend. Sarah says it's more than that, they love him. Bailey thinks that the best thing he can do right now is to stay out of everybody's way.

Charlie is trying to get Daphne on the phone. Kirsten comes in. Owen is asleep so she'll just come back later to take him to the movies. Charlie is concerned that Daphne isn't answering. She had a really late night at a trade show, but she was supposed to be at the house an hour ago. Kirsten asks if they are seeing each other every day now. Charlie says they are and asks what she wants to say about that. She says she has no point of view. Yeah, but he wants her to understand. What makes it weird is what makes it work for them. She strips and sells cheese in a mall and he doesn't know what he wants to do. They are both in between things right now and are okay with each other that way. Kirsten nods. Charlie calls Daphne's agency.

It's the next morning and Griffin finds Julia out on the balcony. She thinks he's a completely weird person...Finland? What can he say? He's bad with geography. She's sad because they have to leave for the plane in a little while. He kisses her. She says they shouldn't go home. They should find a cheesy little motel on the beach and stay for a while. She'll call the professor and work things out. As soon as they get home everything is going to hit them. She knows they can't afford it, but they already have so much debt. He's such a sap. She says she wants to be with him and he starts to do cartwheels down the beach. They'll be in debt for the next century, but what the heck! They begin to kiss again.

It's the noon rush and Bailey is behind the bar. Jay comes in and thanks him for what he did for Annie with her job and for taking care of Natalie. He knows they will never be friends, but they both want the same thing. Unfortunately Bailey thinks that's Bailey and Jay thinks it's Jay. He wants his wife back. Bailey points out that she divorced him. Actually, he never signed the papers, he couldn't accept it. Bailey can't believe it. Where does he get off thinking he can just drop back in on her life? Jay knows he had some problems, but until Annie says she wants him gone, he's going to stick around. He's going to ask his wife to take him back.

Birthday party
Daphne is dressed like an Indian maiden helping little kids with a pinata. Charlie shows up and she's upset. Is he checking up on her again? They were supposed to hang out and she didn't show up, so he was worried. She tells him to leave, the mother is giving her the evil eye. Charlie persists. She keeps helping the kids. He wants to know when he can see her. She has to go straight to the trade show at the Cow Palace. He offers to drive her, but she has her car. He will bring her back afterwards. She says that won't work. She doesn't want to get into it now. He wants to know what. She says they'll get into it later. He's fine with later, but it doesn't seem like it's going to work for her. He pulls her over. What is going on, because if he did something, she has to tell him. She says it wasn't what he's something they did. She's pregnant. Charlie is stunned. They both stand there completely stunned.


This episode was originally conceived as the first half of a two-hour season finale and it shows. The plot lines all moved toward intense season-ending resolutions. So what are we left with at the end of "Fools Rush In?" Well, I don't know about you, but this viewer is counting the hours until the "Fools Rush Out." I sometimes watch the end of the season with regret at the thought of a long summer, but I am completely sucked in here.

It was wonderful to see Griffin and Julia take a break from their extremely depressing lives. Justin seems to have headed back to New Haven or maybe just summer school in Berkeley. They haven't forgotten their problems, but they have taken a little break. Actually they didn't mention it, but by my calendar this trip could have been a celebration of their first anniversary. It seems like they were able to remember why they first got together. Maybe if they can carry a little of that back to San Francisco they can get their relationship back on the right track.

Bailey cannot catch a break. He's settled in his life. He's got the restaurant running smoothly, things are good with Annie and Natalie. So, of course they have to throw a wrench in his plans. What is compelling is to examine the situation from the perspective of a few months ago when Bailey told Natalie about losing his dad. He understands in his head that Natalie should be with her dad, but his heart is breaking to maybe let them go.

In addition to Bailey's trouble with Annie, he also has to deal with the fact that Sarah is moving on again. He subtly tries to torpedo her housing arrangement with Eric which isn't really fair. I think he is afraid of losing the support that Sarah has provided him time and time again.

I thought the scene where Jamie asked Claudia to the prom was very cute. Thank goodness at least one Salinger doesn't want to jump in the sack! (We can't count Owen because we haven't seen him for 3 episodes.) Too bad for Claudia she had to run into "Pessimistic Charlie" to discuss her prom dress. Personally if I had been unemployed for basically 8 months I would have told her to wear the extremely nice ivory dress she bought for the first dance Jamie asked her to.

So, that brings us to my favorite part of the show: Charlie. So, this relationship has been going on for 2 months. That's good to know. The dinner with Paul and Kirsten wasn't just uncomfortable for Daphne, I was feeling her pain. I can't quite imagine this foursome down at the bowling alley. The jealousy from Kirsten near the end was a nice touch. She and Charlie have a very complex relationship and she's been able to deal with it from the safe place of having her husband and Charlie needing her big time. Not anymore.

Back to Daphne. This relationship was nice and easy and they could take things as they come, but not anymore. A baby definitely puts this relationship into a whole different place. It seems like Charlie could be ready for that, but I don't think Daphne is. We still don't know much about her except she has a sister and parents. I perceive her to be younger than Charlie, but who knows? Personally I want to get to know her better because she fascinates me.

Can't wait for next week. I only hope I might catch a glimpse of an actual "Party of Five"-- go Owen!

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