Quotes from What If...
Nick (after close call): "I didn't even see him. If he hadn't swerved..."
Diana: "He's leaving."
Nick: "Well, I guess it's not a hit and run if he missed us."
Diana: "Oh, God, look at the time."
Nick: "Do you wanna go home?"
Diana: "How often do we get a night out like this? Charlie's already there with Owen and Claud."
Julia to her brothers: "I don't get you guys. They do so much for you and this is the gratitude you show?"
Justin to Julia: "How was your family meeting?"
Julia: "Great, except my idiot brothers are suddenly acting as though the anniversary party was my idea."
Justin: "Well, who's was it?"
Julia: "That's not the point."
Julia: "You didn't do the reading."
Justin: "No, but my fiance did, and she's a genius."
Bailey: "I have a cigarette every once in a while, but only when I drink."
Claudia: "Ah ha. And judging from your pyramid here, you're up to what, like, five packs a day?"
Julia: "I sound like the shower scene from Psycho. I'm sorry."
Griffin: "You're not that scary."
Charlie: "As soon as I get some of the kinks worked out, I'm gonna build my own spec house. Yeah, the painting and construction is just something I do to pay the bills...."
Girl #1: "Charlie, I looked at your model a week ago. Everything's still exactly the same. The pencil's still clipped up on the kitchen wall. The compass is pointing at the same direction - right at the bedroom. It's okay. I'm sure you'll be a big architect someday. And even if not - I didn't come here to make it with Frank Lloyd Wright. I came here to make it with you."
Felicia: "I'm pregnant."
Felicia: "I was late. I peed on a stick. I'm pregnant."
Julia: "You've had sex?"
Claudia: "Don't you even read my e-mails? I have been dropping some serious hints."
Julia: "You've had sex with different people?"
Claudia: "I've been on the road a very long time."
Claudia to Ross: "I've been doing this since I've been 11 years old. I mean, I've traveled all over the world. I've played with all these amazing people. But I miss my family."
Kirsten: "Frankly, I don't have a whole lot of patience for men who never think past their next conquest. Who think they can have sex like that and just blow off the consequences."
Charlie: "Look, you don't know me."
Julia to Griffin: "I'm Julia Salinger from last night. The Psycho squeak?"
Julia: "Where'd you go to high school?'
Griffin: "Grant. Same as you."
Julia: "Wow, really? Were you in some of my classes, 'cause I don't..."
Griffin: "I dropped out."
Will to Bailey (at concert): "You are refusing to let yourself love this because you're not sure you'll find the gonads to tell your old man."
Julia (about Bailey's beer): "Is that your lunch? Very healthy."
Bailey: "Are you tryin' to sound like Mom or can you just not help it anymore?"
Charlie: "Ask my parents. They barely trust me to look after their other kids."
Kirsten: "Your parents? Who cares what they think? Mine want me to marry the first guy who asks - sorry, first doctor who asks. Anyway, how much do parents really know?"
Charlie: "They know somethin'. They know more than me."
Claudia: "Wow. Mom did some redecorating."
Ross: "Yeah. It's very Martha."
Julia: "So, I looked you up in the yearbook last night when I got home. I remember you now."
Griffin: "You do, huh?"
Julia: "Uh huh. You were a senior when I was a sophomore, and you were in a band, with Brendan Brown and his little brother Kendrick who was in my class."
Griffin: "Yeah, that's right."
Julia: "You played guitar, and at the time I remember thinking you were kind of cute."
Griffin: "At the time, huh?"
Griffin: "I gotta close up if you wanna wait."
Julia: "I wanna wait."
Bailey: "You're saying that I should just be like you? Just go take off and do whatever I want and forget about who gets hurt?"
Charlie: "No, not at all. No, what I did was worse. I mean, all I did all my whole life was do the opposite of what Dad wanted. I mean, I still never made any of my own choices. And you know what happened? I never got what I wanted, and now Dad and I hardly ever talk."
Julia: "I was trying to figure stuff out, you know?"
Griffin: "Yeah, well, maybe you should've been trying to figure stuff out with him."
Claudia: "Look at them. I mean, they've got their own lives now. You know, they've moved away from home. Moved away from each other."
Ross: "Like most families."
Claudia: "Yeah, I guess. Yeah. But in my head it was just the way it was when I left, you know? I guess I thought if I came home I could have that back, you know? But that family - that family doesn't exist anymore."
Julia to Justin: "I wanna take time apart - from them. Justin, I want us not to have dinner with them once a week. I wanna go to Tuscany with you this summer and be able to tell them what a great time we had without them. I want this to be about us for awhile."
Julia to Justin (re. the ring): "Hopefully we'll need it someday."
Bailey to Charlie: "He gets so excited about it, he makes it impossible to say no."
Charlie to Bailey: "You wake up five years from now and you're not doin' what you want, don't go sayin' 'If Charlie had done this' or 'If Dad had said that,' OK? 'Cause you'll have no one to blame but yourself."
Charlie: "Happy Anniversary."
Nick: "Thanks. It's good to see you, son."
Charlie: "It's good to see you, too."
Bailey to his siblings: "I saw it. I saw it, and you were right, Julia. Whatever's missing or whatever my life is, it's nobody's fault. It's not Mom and Dad's fault, or anybody else's. It's just me. So, I'm gonna go get help."
Back to Episode Summary