To My Daughter

Written by Rachel

SPOILER WARNING: This is based on spoiler info for January episodes. If you don't want to know what happens, don't read this!

Dear Diana,

Your mom just told me she's leaving and I have so many thoughts going through my mind now, so many things that I want to tell you, to explain to you, but you are much too little to understand them. I guess if I write it down now maybe someday you can read it and understand what happened.

Your mom showed up at a time when I had lost my way. I thought my life was over, that I would die. I put so much effort in figuring out how I was going to die with dignity that I had pretty much forgotten how to live. Your mom helped me remember in ways that I never even knew to begin with. She got me to be more honest with myself and the people in my life. It's hard to imagine a time when Bailey didn't run the restaurant, but without your mom I doubt that would have ever happened.

It's no secret that we didn't plan for you, but you are the greatest treasure in my life. I can't imagine time before you or time without you. The moment the doctor put you in my arms I fell in love. Actually, truth be told, I fell in love with you the first time I saw you on the screen of the sonogram monitor. You were and are the miracle I never imagined I would have.

So, what happened to this perfect picture? You should know this was never your mom's fault. She loved you and she always will. It was my fault. I told her it would all be fine and it never was. She isn't like you and me. When she was a little girl she didn't have people who loved her like you and I did. That makes a big difference. It's hard for her and I think she's done as good a job for us as she could.

As I write this I am watching you sleep. You are so sweet, so calm. I don't know if any of this will make sense, but know that you are surrounded by people who love you, Bailey, Julia, Claudia, Owen, Kirsten, so many others. We all are so thankful that you are here with us.

So, when you come and ask me about Daphne, I hope that you will know that she loved you enough to bring you into this world so that we could all have you as a part of our lives.

Love, Daddy